History has shown that pretty much any object can be made fuckable. This is especially true of the humble bicycle, which has a surprisingly horny past.

Museums in New York City, Prague and Amsterdam all nod to this past by displaying a variety of dildo bikes, and tourists love them. The bike at New York’s Museum of Sex has a dildo strapped to the front, and it’s powered by pedaling. There’s a video of one guy pumping so hard that the floppy, rubber cock falls off, and another — which has a staggering 700,000 views — of a woman looking mildly disturbed by the janky squeaks.

It seems the dildo bike could use a little lube.

Interesting Art Piece - The Dildo Cycle
by inWTF

The varieties in Prague and Amsterdam are a little closer to what you might expect when you hear the phrase “dildo bike.” Redditors went wild for the small selection of decidedly old-school exercise bikes in the Museum of Sex Machines, with dildos mounted either below or in front of the saddle. It’s a dead ringer for the fisting bike in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia — The Ass Pounder 5000 — and if you want to see one of these in action, the Erotic Museum in Amsterdam has a creepy-looking blonde mannequin cycling away as the dildo thrusts.

Found a familiar looking contraption whilst visiting the Sex Machine Museum in Prague...
byu/NBKxSmokey inIASIP

Commenters online joke that the dildo bikes were designed by “sexual deviants” — and one guy just wants “never stop pumping” on his tombstone — but the bikes themselves allude to a weird history of men wanting to stop women from cycling. In Victorian Britain, men believed that the bicycle was a threat to “female purity.” In their wild hypotheses, women would grind themselves against the hard saddles in the name of clitoral stimulation, a theory that gained so much traction that “anatomical saddles” were designed to prevent potential pleasure.

Quack doctors also warned that women in particular — deemed as “unfit for the exertion” that cycling required — would develop a hideous side-effect known as “bicycle face,” “characterized by a hard, clenched jaw and bulging eyes.” Bible-banging fear-mongerers therefore theorized that not only would women jerk off by grinding against the saddles, their faces would become permanently contorted and ugly. Bikes would actually make women unfuckable, and what could be worse than that?

In reality, the late 19th century craze for bikes coalesced with a feminist movement hellbent on wearing less restrictive clothes, like the bloomers and adjustable skirts designed for women cyclists to make riding a bike — and exercising in general — easier.

So, bicycles became a symbol of women’s liberation, and horny photographers of the time were quick to pounce on an opportunity to show Victorian women straddling saddles, a pose so popular that the Online Bicycle Museum has a whole online section dedicated to “Bicycle Erotica.”

And now, thanks to the careful preservation of the dildo bike, the ride has never really stopped.